Hello..............long time no blogging

Well I let life get in the way again, or just my slow computer that takes 20 mins. to warm up, so I just keep it off. The news this time is I am signing papers on the old/new to me house tomorrow. There will be lots of work to do. I will be posting before and afters of the rooms that I pay someone to re-do for me. See I want to be handy however I find that its better if I pay someone who is handy. What I do need are ideas on where to get good deals and inspiration for ideas. I need a nice modern mantel, updated kitchen, flooring ideas and paint ideas. I also need to know from Andrea and Lacey if they think wallpaper is out. There are some cool new patterns I am thinking I want to do as accent walls or a chair railing with wallpaper. Is that not a good idea?? Well I will post more when I know more. Bids come in this week for some items I know will need to be done ASAP ex. landscaping in 110 weather sounds better when you know you will be paying someone. Oh yeah, I also need Brien to test the soil in the planters for a garden I might do............see I am trying to fit in with my sisters.

Another reason why there has been no post my home computer wouldn't post last night.....grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

So today I signed!!! Closing tomorrow!

Out of Balance

One of my goals this year is to get my life into balance. I heard a speaker last week discuss that his life has been out of balance the last 10 months and he is trying to find the balance between work and his personal life. He is also in real estate so I could definitely relate. Part of getting my life into balance was to make time for working out. So this week I started my workouts at the Henderson Rec Center. I did Boot camp Tuesday and Thursday as well as Boxing Tuesday and Thursday. I'm cutting Boxing to just Thursdays as to get home at a decent hour on Tuesday to spend time with Derek since he is off on that day. I also have a class on Saturdays. I am completely sore from head to toe and LOVE it!! I miss the "pain" you get from a good hard workout. I have noticed that I have had more energy and feel better throughout the day. I also went to Red Rock Canyon and did some hiking with some girlfriends this past weekend. We have a goal to go every Saturday, so let me know if you would like to come as well. I can already see the benefits from making time to do this for myself.

Why do we get so tied up in things we put ourself to the side?

I have a lot more to do to get my life in balance, but I think this is a good step in the right direction.

How are you with the balance in your life?

When does the happy ever after start?

Married for 2 years one month and 8 days and I am still waiting for the happy ever after. Does it come with having children? Does it come with the goodnight kisses? Does it come when you wake up and see him there asleep and peaceful? All my life I have been told there is a happy ever after. I have a job I love, a husband I love more then I could ever imagine and a family that somewhat supports me. Am I at my happy ever after? Am I at the point where there can be no better joy then now? I don't know what the future holds for me and my world. I do know it scares me to think that there is something out there that can break my happiness and I have no control over it. I have no contorl over if I will have a long and happy life with those I love today or if this is it. I better make the best of it so I have the least amout of regret possible.

Am I crazy or is this your reality too?

I drive down the freeway and try to memorize the license plate in front of me and the car to go with it. Just in case I need to report it.

I wonder what death is like, but want to live to remember it.

I went to a High School and was scared by the students. Kids look a lot different now days.

I wish to die last for fear my husband would never re-marry.

I would like to know what a moment of fame is like.

I enjoy a good cry whether it is a sad one or happy one.

I wish to know what it's like to be a mother but do not want to have a child.

I want to go white water rafting , but not get wet.

I think if i was a boy life would be much easier.

If I won the lottery I would like to still work to keep me busy.

I stress over not being stressed out.

I want to do better then the person before me.

I try to hide my past.

Life Happens

I have had life happening around me and not having "time" to blog I don't write. I went to a movie tonight and out of nowhere a friend tells me of the death of a former co-worker. I had not heard about it and was stunned to hear it. (She immediately apologized for the sudden comment.) It's crazy that I take for granted that tomorrow will come.

I later found out she had breast cancer and it was pretty sudden. This was someone I would've have taken time to see had I heard she was sick and would have gone to the funeral if there was one. I have only gone to a small number of funerals in my life and one was a guy a few years older then me who had cancer. This cancer is an evil thing and has appeared throughout my life in other people. People have lived after they went through treatments and some have not. I have donated time & money to cancer research charities due to the events in my life. I wonder how close we are to finding a cure and pray we do.

These are the nights I wonder what I have brought to this world, will I live a long life or a short one? Derek always tells me he wants nothing after he dies and just wants to be cremated and thrown away. No funeral, no stories and no parties. I never really think about it. If I go before him I know he will burn me and tell no one I'm gone due to not wanting the attention.

Life happens around me and sometimes I am living it and other times I feel I get passed by. Tonight I feel nothing and wonder what is in store for me. Tonight I think. I know life will happen tomorrow whether I will partake of it or sit on the sidelines, I'm not sure

Right now I think sidelines, I'm not ready to play yet.